Chaos, Coffee, and Confessions: Finding my way back to mental health

I had my last appointment at the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, MN on August 23rd, 2024. The appointment consisted of an MRI and a visit with my nurse practitioner to go over the results. The MRI results weren't surprising. I have evidence of endometriosis, though the MRI couldn't tell us how much. I also have some scarring from my hysterectomy I had back in 2022. The cyst on my right ovary shrank and she was happy about that, because though she never outright told me, she was worried I had ovarian cancer. So.... because of the positive results of the colonoscopy I had in June and the MRI that didn't find anything serious, she said there wasn't anything else she could do and released me from care. I still have to touch base with her for refills on my creams (my lichen sclerosis will never go away) and my ovary pills, but I don't have another appointment scheduled.  At first I was happy because I was tired of driving to Rochester every three months and the hotel and food ...

Probably one of the biggest things I miss is feeling good enough to just go do something. When I felt good, I was up for anything. Before I started writing, I was a runner, and I was running 5-10 miles four or five times a week. I was at the height of my health. I was eating well, had energy, slept well. I could get a million things done and still be up for doing something else. Case in point, this popped up on my Facebook timeline the other day, and I added my response to it. One of my biggest mistakes was stopping running when I started writing. Even though my job is flexible and if it's not busy (a rarity these days) I'm allowed to read or do something else, I stopped running completely and began writing every free second I had. I should never have done that, finding that elusive balance to keep both in my life instead. But I jumped into writing head first, and like a diver who mistakenly dives into a kiddie pool, I slammed my head on the floor of the pool. My health never q...