About Me: why here, why now

Needless to say, it's been a whirlwind of a four years for everyone. I think people forget that we survived a pandemic, and along with that, we've forgotten that many of us are still suffering, still trying to find our way back to where we were in 2019. 

My troubles started before 2019, 2016, to be exact, but let's not count the years I've had my mind in a blender. How long I've been messed up probably plays a big part in why I'm having trouble now, and that's the point of this blog. I need a place to sort through my feelings, how I'm feeling, and how I can get to feeling normal again, if that's even possible. 

After eight years, people in my real life are tired of hearing about this, and I don't blame them. I'm tired too. But I'm living it and don't have a choice whether to block it out or not. So here I am, fumbling my way through each day, wondering if I'll ever feel like myself again. Chances are good that's a big fat no, but this blog is a start, at least. 

I blog for indie authors and romance readers on a different platform, and I wanted to separate this topic from that part of me. I mention my mental health on my blog for indie authors (vaniamargene.com) but that's not a great place for it, and besides, what I've gone through and the consequences that caused my mental health decline didn't, and doesn't, stop me from writing and publishing. I needed a blog just for me, and apparently, blogging's in my blood. I had a Blogger account back in 2013 before I started writing books that was about running and training for a half-marathon. I bailed on the blog, but ran the half-marathon in 2016 (my first and only), but that's besides the point. I revamped my account and turned it into the mental health blog you're reading now. 

Exercise will probably play a role in finding myself again. I used to like to walk, liked to run, and I do find peace being outside. But after the last seven years, I also have a lot of negative emotions connected to walking and I need to be able to move past those before I can reap the benefits, mentally at least. Like a lot of other people, I've gain the COVID 15, in my case the COVID 30, but it's not all due to COVID. I haven't felt well enough, physically, to do much walking, and that's part of this blog too. Not only figuring out what's going on with me mentally, but I've had a health issue that's only just now clearing up after 4 years and a last-resort trip to the Mayo Clinic in Rochester Minnesota. Not feeling well physically is just as draining as not feeling well mentally, and I'll get into all that in later posts. 

I think eventually I'll write a mini-memoir about my hellish experience(s) and publish it on all the platforms, like Nook, Amazon, and Apple Books, to help others, but for now, this will do. I need a place where I can post daily, without a schedule, if something pops into my head or if I'm having a bad day, which is a lot of days. I'm writer, it's what I do, and while starting a third blog probably wasn't what my hands needed, it's the best way for me to sort out my thoughts. 

As the title of my blog says, grab some coffee and settle in for the chaos and confessions that will make up this blog and has made up my life. I hope I can help you sort out your own issues. 

Thanks for reading.